Track By Tracks: We Are William - We Are William (2022)

1. Sun Eater:

Sun Eater describes the counterintuitive of the depressed or dissociated mind. The main focus is the tendency for someone who is experiencing these feelings, to deny themselves exactly what they need. This happens due to shame. The shame of being a burden, not enough, and unworthy. The sun eater takes the role of the antagonist and is used as a metaphor of the mind's nature to “consume” the better qualities of the individual and remove them from sight. The line “swimming in the fire,” is meant to signify the sometimes impossible task of reaching for what we need in this state.

2. Answer Oh Creator:

This song is about my experience watching my grandmother pass away in the hospital. Both she and my mother were/are religious people. It’s a recollection of my rage, watching my mother's anguish as she watched her pass. I remember looking for someone or something to blame. Where was this all-powerful figure that was supposed to help these people? Why wouldn’t it answer? The promise of support and kindness wasn’t being met here. How can people feed each other these lies of comfort? I guess you get the point.

3. Oceanic:

This song illustrates my battles with substance abuse and self-medication. It’s also a nod at the fact that the need to self-medicate comes from an avoidant nature. Make the mind numb and the problem goes away. The chorus describes “words falling like ash from a jeweled mouth.” I guess it was a more flowery way of describing the excuses I’ve made to justify the ways I’ve coped.

4. Purging:

The song reflects on my feelings of being a victim. Mental illness can be a very selfish endeavor at times. The song is a call to pull away from the thoughts of “Why me?” To take ownership of my own perception of the world. Comparing myself with what I perceive to be “better than” will only result in the planting of unwanted seeds. It’s better to address these beliefs and replace them with ones that will allow me to move forward.

5. Bring Me Flowers:

I’ve described this song in many ways, but I’m now realizing that the meaning is simple. It discusses the moment I decided not to commit suicide. It was a brutally honest look at my beliefs and actions that weren’t serving me and recognizing that change was the only way to survive myself.

6. In The Bone:

ITB expresses the pain I felt after losing my dad. He was such a large figure in my life. It’s also about coming to understand that pain like that doesn’t leave. It becomes part of you and changes you indefinitely. In a weird way, acknowledging that the hole will always be there, is the only way I’ve found to move forward.

7. Haruspex:

I don’t remember what I was reading, but the word came up and it was intriguing. A haruspex was a religious official in ancient Rome, who read omens in the guts of the animals they sacrificed. It made me think that the easiest way to tell the future would be to look inside myself. Dig through me and see what was there. Luckily, there was hope somewhere in there. The song illustrates that discovery.

8. Seeker:

Seeker is the aftermath of Haruspex. The “movement” after processing what I chose to share in the previous songs. Essentially taking that hope and decided to make me in a new light. To be accountable for who and what I was and am.